The first few months following affair discovery can be an extremely challenging time. The likelihood is that you will be exceptionally vulnerable to your emotions. Because of this emotional upheaval, Affair Healing strongly advise against making any important life changing decisions until you return to some semblance of calm. Furthermore, be sure to seek help so that you are adequately supported in these difficult times.

If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, take heart in the fact that affair discovery can leave even the toughest person feeling traumatised. And when we are traumatised the brain chemistry is not best suited to decision making. This is because your emotions are likely to swing wildly as your brain attempts to process the trauma. The pain will ease as your emotional strength increases. Always remember that there will be ample time to take important decisions later when you better understand the situation and are more capable to act on your decisions.

During the early days of affair recovery, calmness can be deceptive, you may have a calm day where everything seems to clarify and you will feel ready to make decisions, but the next day panic and disorder return.

When you initially experience these brief moments of calm, take these respites as recuperation time, instead of trying to quickly put everything in its place. Take the time you need to process and comprehend what has happened. Today you may feel that the answer is before your eyes and that your spouse’s behaviour has said all that is necessary, whereas tomorrow you may feel the deepest love in years. Take heart and hunker down, this is the beginning of the new improved you and Affair Healing wants to help you to grab it with both hands.

Taking Care Of You

You are the indispensable part of your healing journey and regardless of what your wayward spouse chooses to do, you are the one that needs to emerge from affair recovery stronger and wiser than ever before. Affair recovery is not always about a healed marriage, it can also be about the personal healing of the betrayed spouse, where they learn to accept, forgive and forge a new path for themselves.

Educating Yourself

Affairs are not a topic usually associated with learning new skills, as morbid as you may find the topic there is much to be learnt and understood about affairs. How you and your spouse approach affair recovery will be unique to your marriage, the key is learning and gaining perspective to help you both grow beyond who you both once were.


Learn how to engage with your spouse, even in these trying times. It may seem strange that you need to learn to talk to someone that you’ve committed to spend the rest of your life with. Unfortunately, poor communication ability on both sides has probably had some bearing on the course of your marriage to date.