Can talking to your spouse really heal your marriage?

Learning to talk to your spouse, does it sound strange that you need to learn to talk to someone that you committed to spend the rest of your life with? Unfortunately, past poor communication ability has probably had some bearing on the course of your marriage to date.

Unexpressed or over expressed emotions can cause unseen havoc on your spouse without you even realising you’ve done anything wrong. Enter our old friend assumption, we say something with a certain message in mind, our spouses face shows the emotion we expected, and there it is, job done. Or is it?

Proper communication takes time, a commodity that always seems in short supply. Have you ever been guilty of sending a text message to deliver bad news? I have, why? Because it’s easier and less complicated and also one sided as the person sending the information has no way of knowing what message was delivered.

Remember that communication is not just about delivering information

It is also about how we receive information. Communication also entails listening and being open to listen no matter how little you like the topic is vital. Generally, the moment you start preparing a response to an incomplete statement is when you stop listening to the person talking. Pauses in conversation are normal, they are the gaps in which people think about what was just said. Treat these pauses with the respect they deserve and instead of wondering why there is silence, think and understand what has just been said.

The next time you feel the need to raise your voice in an argument, please remember that this is the point when you abandon understanding and move your focus to proving yourself superior. So the next time that thought comes in a discussion, ask yourself if your goal is to win an argument or if you want to understand your spouse.

Keeping It Together

Uncovering an affair will rock even the toughest people to their very core. Discovering or being told of an affair can make you doubt everything you know, and it will challenge everything you hold dear. Knowing what to expect will give you the upper hand in recovery

Taking Care Of You

You are the indispensable part of your healing journey and regardless of what your wayward spouse chooses to do, you are the one that needs to emerge from affair recovery stronger and wiser than ever before. Affair recovery is not always about a healed marriage, it can also be about the personal healing of the betrayed spouse, where they learn to accept, forgive and forge a new path for themselves.

Educating Yourself

Affairs are not a topic usually associated with learning new skills, as morbid as you may find the topic there is much to be learnt and understood about affairs. How you and your spouse approach affair recovery will be unique to your marriage, the key is learning and gaining perspective to help you both grow beyond who you both once were.