Can talking to your spouse really heal your marriage?
Learning to talk to your spouse, does it sound strange that you need to learn to talk to someone that you committed to spend the rest of your life with? Unfortunately, past poor communication ability has probably had some bearing on the course of your marriage to date.
Unexpressed or over expressed emotions can cause unseen havoc on your spouse without you even realising you’ve done anything wrong. Enter our old friend assumption, we say something with a certain message in mind, our spouses face shows the emotion we expected, and there it is, job done. Or is it?
Proper communication takes time, a commodity that always seems in short supply. Have you ever been guilty of sending a text message to deliver bad news? I have, why? Because it’s easier and less complicated and also one sided as the person sending the information has no way of knowing what message was delivered.
Remember that communication is not just about delivering information
It is also about how we receive information. Communication also entails listening and being open to listen no matter how little you like the topic is vital. Generally, the moment you start preparing a response to an incomplete statement is when you stop listening to the person talking. Pauses in conversation are normal, they are the gaps in which people think about what was just said. Treat these pauses with the respect they deserve and instead of wondering why there is silence, think and understand what has just been said.
The next time you feel the need to raise your voice in an argument, please remember that this is the point when you abandon understanding and move your focus to proving yourself superior. So the next time that thought comes in a discussion, ask yourself if your goal is to win an argument or if you want to understand your spouse.